Try that..

I realised that it is beautiful. I was in a cool and cosy coffee house, located on a busy road. The glass door shut the noise, heat and pollution from seeping into the neat ambience inside.
There weren't many people in the coffee shop. I was waiting for a friend to join me.
I was just looking outside, lying lazily on the couch.
There were buses, cars, bikes, and auto rickshaws, all trying to overtake the others, as if they are in a race.All hands on their respective horns. I could see frowning faces, must be cursing the traffic. There was a taxi driver yelling at a biker, he had made a dent on his taxi. And as usual, the crowd was enjoying the drama for free.
Well, as I said I could only watch all this, not hear.
And it was so amusing to Watch the noise and Hear the silence :)
( Please do not equate this with watching a movie or video on mute mode).

I was disheartened.. not anymore.. :)

I wanted to write something, I did not know what to write about. I just started typing, believing that I will end up writing something.

Why does the heart feel so blank at times... :-/

Whatever good or bad I write, it all comes to me spontaneously. The harder I try, the more blocked I feel :(
When it has to come, it comes on its own.Any time any moment any where. 

I wonder how can someone, atleast how can I, make writing a means of my living.(I dream to...)
It is like, creativity chooses its own time and wish to come, how do I rely on it?

The other day, I was feeling bad that no one reads my blog, why the hell should I write. Of course there are a few people who have always been good and generous... hey there, those who are already know :) Thank you :)

But then, I sat back and thought and realized that if I look for recognition and appreciation I feel disheartened. This is not all for which I write. I write because it makes me feel worthy about myself. I write because I want to express what I feel. I write because I cannot keep anything inside. 

I am blessed that I have a means to share my thoughts and feelings with all of you out there...

If my words strike a chord of your heart, I feel luckier.

I realized that my writing should not be driven by desire of recognition, appreciation and feedback. Though nothing gives me greater joy than getting a genuine comment- not always appreciation :P I am equally greedy for criticism :)

Because it is anyway spontaneous.. I cannot control that flow of thoughts...like I am unable to, right now while writing this :)

Put them on, take them off!

I am a bespectacled fellow for the last 10 years. I never realised when did specs become a part of my identity.
Today I realise that these are not just a pair of glasses, these are something magical...

They just do not help me see the world clearly, but since the time they are with me, they have been trying to give me a message, which I understand now.

I was on my way to office, in a taxi...enjoying the drive. I took off my specs and tried to read the hoardings, imagining how would a  day be like,  when I would forget my specs at home..

It was amusing, Put them on, see everything crystal clear. Take them off, and the world turns hazy and cluttered.
In less than a moment, the world changes for me. Clear- Hazy. Hazy- clear.
And what brings the change? A pair of glasses!

Everything remains the same, nothing changes in the world, whether I wear my specs or not. But the the way it appears to me, changes completely.

Suddenly it dawned on me... how truly said, all that matters is perception, the way we look at things. And it is absolutely in our hands how we look at them. Just like I want to wear my specs to see the world clearly or I want to be in the hazy world, without the glasses.
This is nothing new that I am writing. All you enlightened souls must have read it and known it for all your lives.
Just that it occurred to me so amusingly that I could not help but express.. after all, its My Weird World of Thoughts :)

Free bird...

At times, it feels great to set yourself free.To give it all up- The sense of responsibility, The sense of righteousness, The sense of Punctuality.To stop thinking about anybody else on earth. To stop doing things to make others happy. And Just do whatever your heart wants. Whatever you want.

You do not want to go to office today. But you have a few leaves left. If you waste this one, you might have to cut down your next vacation. Give it a damn! You never know what happens tomorrow. Have a life today! Don't go! Chill out!

You have party to attend but you want to sit at home and enjoy the solitude. Do not feel like coming out of the silence. But this friend might feel bad... but you know that the party would not be cancelled if you do not go. Stop thinking! Don't go! Send a message that you cannot come. Rarely do you get the company of your own self. Enjoy that.

You have a long list of to-do tasks for the weekend. Pay the internet bill, iron your clothes for the week, refill the grocery, clean the cupboard etc etc. You feel like going for a long walk by the sea, Feel the wind, Forget everything else, Dance with the waves... You know that everything else can wait. Go ahead. Listen to your heart...

Life is a series of choices we make, choices that we make for ourselves, for our loved ones, for the future, for good, for well being, for justice, for commitment, for relationships.

It feels like a bird, sometimes when you make the choices just for yourself.
High in the sky, free from all the rights and wrongs, shoulds and should nots, yesterdays and tomorrows...

Let loose...

I believed I will never fall again...

I lay melancholy on the floor all night, 
I looked for his hand that could pull me upright..

Throat parched, eyes swollen, tears on the cheeks dried,
I waited and waited for him to come and wipe...

The weight on my heart could have buried me there..
My eyes bled, heart cried in despair..

"Why again did you let me fall?" I yelled...
Was he there to listen or all went unheard.?

I wanted to curse him, and curse him hard indeed,
"Doesn't  my faith mean anything at all, tell me!"

Why does he test me when he himself lets me down always,
What for is he "Supreme", I ask when he cant bestow his grace?

No hand came to lift me up, neither did any ray..
nor were my screams paid heed, I had to make my way.

I gathered myself to rise on my own ..
Enough of it, I am no object, I am a human.

I put my hand on the floor and tumbled,
got up again and then again stumbled..

I did not give up, and kept on trying
until on my feet I saw myself standing..

As I rose I felt filled with something..
was that hope or life or light or a blessing?

My feet felt strong and my body felt light,
the darkness dispelled, I could see things bright..

I was delighted I could do it myself,
I am capable, I don't need any help..

I rejoiced, celebrated and flaunted my win,
with all new confidence I set to begin...

Suddenly it occurred, did I really do it?
what was that energy that gave me the lift?

It was him, the "Supreme" , it was him!!
He watched me rise, fuelled my within..

I wasn't left alone, he was there behind the wall in disguise,
Like a mother, who watches her child, fall and rise...