Some days in life make themselves so uneventful and dull,
that, when I look back and recall something worth remembering about those days;
it seems they never existed in my life.
I dread my life to be a series of such uneventful and
unmemorable days.
Well, they say “A day is as good as you make it”. But that zeal to pull myself out of idleness
or boredom or nothingness, to “make” the day good, seems like something I never
possessed.
All I do is waiting for the day to get over, with the hope
that the next day will be miraculously interesting, without I putting in
fruitless efforts, fatalism at its peak.
The strange restless feeling is killing.
What is my calling?
As they say about love, you do not decide to fall in love,
and you realise only after falling for someone, that you have fallen, does it
hold true for all other serendipities?
There is this strange restless feeling in me that does not
let me be at peace.
I do not feel
complete. I do not feel I have achieved anything that can be termed an achievement.
I feel a little hungry all the time. I feel a little sleep-deprived
all the time. I feel a little restless all the time.
What is my calling?
A strange feeling haunts me all night when I do not have the
answer to “what did I do today that I can feel more worthy than yesterday?”
I wake up in a confused state of mind- somewhat hopeful,
somewhat anxious, somewhat optimistic, and somewhat nervous. Wake up with the
other question waiting to be answered.
What is my calling?
Sometimes I feel I can become a writer, but this very
question that “Do I have it in me?” kills all the spirit.
It has been said, “If you think you can do it, you can. If
you think you can’t do it, you can’t.”
True. But I am yet to find my “it”.
The "it" which could be a solid answer to "What is my calling? "
The "it" which could be a solid answer to "What is my calling? "
The only baseless hope that someday I will wake up with an
answer to “What is my calling?” keeps me going.
May be the hope is not baseless. I should not let it die. I
should nurture it in all ways I can.
It’s then when I realise the profundity of this statement: “Faith is your wealth.”
I do not do a favour to anyone if I pose faith in destiny or
in God. It is my own wealth. If I lose it, it’s a loss to me, not to anybody
else.
A complacent soul is always at peace. If you are restless,
you are awakened.
But staying awake is not enough, is it?
You got to pursue your calling.
What is my calling?
Wow. A huge wow… How you write this out? Do you have magical powers? Just kidding….. All the best to you and your readers
ReplyDeleteoh no! i can't believe this !! now that my own feelings have found their words... thank you for that ! :) i have never ever thanked the author after reading his/her piece..i have taken a print of it... glued to my bedroom wall....
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot. :)
DeleteSimple yet deep. Good writing.
ReplyDeleteIf you like reading, you can read my nascent works at beingsmriti.blogspot.com
Good luck!
I cannot speak for your calling, Ritu, but I found mine in spite of all attempts by the illusory world to keep me away from it. It is to be happy, and the way to it is by overcoming ignorance, greed, and anger, and to be a fellow traveler to all around me on this insightful journey towards pure bliss. Wish you all the best, and hope to see more of your inspiring posts on this blog.
ReplyDeletethoughtful..
ReplyDeleteU already are a good writer..n perhaps this is your calling..
gud luck!!