Lest you should fall..

The greatest favor I could do myself is help myself  be myself.
All the while I try being someone better than myself, I torment myself.
When I want to say no, but it should be a yes by the goodness standards,
and I say yes, I make a cut on my skin, that does not hurt that much then,
but each yes that follows the first yes, deepens the cut, making it bleed harder and harder..
and paining me, the pain that I myself inflicted on my being.
And the veil of goodness in which I place myself, the veil that is like a soundproof solid wall,
that does not let my screams of pain reach any ear, that filters all the discomfort I am going through because of the yes I said, and makes me look a  healthy and happy face, which looks real but is fake.
And I regret saying that first yes.

just be yourself. say no when you feel you want to say no. don't try to be someone you are not.
you are not doing any good to yourself all the while.
you are just letting yourself fall off a precipice, a precipice, where no hand can reach to pull you back. and perhaps, the fall will not have an end ever. An endless, painful fall.