I wish I had earlids!!

Why did God not create earlids like he did eyelids...

There are times when I just do not want to hear anything...absolutely nothing...but not always does that happen... There are times when I want silence, complete silence, but I long to get it...

I was travelling in a public bus the other day...There was already a lot of noise of the traffic and the people and the passengers...and to top it all, there was a guy who had played music on his cellphone at the highest volume possible... I had no control over the situation. I was waiting for my stop very very eagerly. I just shut my eyes and tried to imagine something pleasant. No sooner than I shut my eyes, I could wipe out what was there in front of me and could draw anything of my choice..on the canvass of my mind... that is when it occurred to me that I wish I had earlids also...so that I could shut down all the cacophony around...and could hear the music of silence...

Dear readers, please do not advise me to buy earplugs...or carry an ipod while travelling...
Feelings and imagination are not bound by logic and rules... :)

An experience beyond description...

“What a beautiful sunrise it is, isn’t it? As if the whole sky has become the canvass of an unseen artist and he is splashing all the colours of nature on it, one after another.”
“ yeah, it looks majestic! The clouds like snowflakes, soft and delicate, melting away at the slight touch of the soft sunrays...”
“ Just look at the sky for a few moments, you will see that its changing every second..yet it appears so still…just like the river…which is ever flowing, but yet looks motionless..”
” Exactly! It is amazing. Listen to the morning silence. It is so melodious. While watching the sun tear away the darkness and flooding the earth with light, is a treat to the eyes, hearing the music of nature is a treat to the ears... there cannot be anything more mellifluous than songs of nature.. ”
” And the whole experience is a treat to the soul, isn’t it?”
”You are so correct”.
” I love to watch sunrise. For me, the rising sun is a messenger of God, which wakes up the world with a greeting that, “Hey you people, the darlings of the Almighty, here it is day again! Get up and go out, the world is yours! Forget what happened yesterday, good or bad, it is a new day, a new beginning. Nothing stays forever. It was darkness till now, but see, its light all over! Fill up your pockets with light…and lighten up the your lives! Lighten up your hearts, lighten up a sad face.”
” That’s really beautiful. “

Its your choice....

Today, I picked up two magazines to read, "The Week", and "Complete Well Being".
The cover pages of both attracted me."The Week" was a special issue about "30 Pearls of India". The other magazine had articles about "How to defy your age" and "Lose those last 5 kilos"..
In Complete Well Being,there were n number of tips and tricks to look younger than your real age.Drink these many glasses of water..these all colors should be there in your diet...Make sure you cleanse your face thrice a day...have atleast 2 varieties of nuts daily...Do such and such exercises to keep wrinkles away..write what you eat daily to monitor your calories intake....This yogasana can reduce your belly fat..that stretch can keep your waist in shape..this moisturizer can prevent drying of skin..blah blah blah...
I was mentally preparing notes and planning to implement atleast some of those..until I started feeling "it is too much for me to do..."

I picked up the other magazine. It had 30 articles about Indians who have given up their high-paying jobs and cozy lives to serve the society.
There was a piece about a young girl in her twenties who has started an NGO to work for the rescue and rehabilitation of young girls trapped in sex trade. The article had a detailed description of what she does and how successful she has been in changing the lives of hundreds...providing them food and shelter,educating them, helping them come out of the trauma. There was a sentence that read.."...in all this she does for her organisation, she hardly finds time for herself..."

Something touched me.

There is a girl who is dedicated to work towards eradicating the darkness from others' lives and there is a girl who is worried about her dark circles. There is a girl who does all she can, to bring a smile on a grief-stricken face and there is a girl who is worried about her prominent laugh lines and wrinkles.There is a girl who forgets to eat while feeding the needy and there is a girl who is worried about losing those extra five kilos!

I hope I could express what I wanted to.

Searching Silence

I don't know why did I name my blog "Searching Silence"...
But I realize now that it had to make sense someday..and it does today...
I am searching silence today..silence outside...and inside..
Traffic...noise in the name of music...people fighting...shouting...horns...loudspeakers...mobiles with irritating ring tones...
Silence for a moment is has become so so rare to find!! unless I run away to isolation..which is not always possible...or unless I wait for the world around me to sleep..which is really difficult to do, because by the end of the day, I become so irritated and feel so drained out that I myself fall asleep before the world around me does...
I never craved for silence so much...may be I had not tasted it yet..or may be I was not yet exposed to so much noise yet...
The noise outside shakes the inside of me..and creates whole lot of volcanic sounds and what not..I am sorry I am unable to express myself, I have become really bad at writing..thanks to the noise...
Silence is bliss...Hey you all there...once in a while, gift yourself moments of silence... and you will know how melodious silence can be...how musical silence can be...how re-energizing silence can be... more than anything else...just you and your self..

If you travel by train for as long as 25 hours at a stretch, you might feel connected to this one. If not, then please read through, you might enjoy..

I meet different kinds of folks on the train. I used to enjoy talking to strangers..but not anymore. I prefer a nice book and music to anything else during my journeys.

Last time I was travelling, I had an amusing encounter with a person, I guess who is one of his kind. I was quite irritated then, but I am thankful to him, he has became the subject of my writing. Call him Uncle ji.

I was sitting alone in the compartment, reading Ruskin Bond stories. Uncle ji came and sat in the opposite seat. I gave him an inattentive look and kept on reading. I could realize the restlessness in him and that he is eager to talk...and here it came " which book are you reading?"
"Short stories by Ruskin Bond".
"Oh ok". With a look on his face that said" Who is he?".
I dint care to answer.
"Where are you going?"
"The last station".
"Oh is it!! What a coincidence!! Me too..wow..great na!"
I smiled.
"Where are you coming from?"
"Hyderabad".
"Alone"?
"yes".
"Alone all the way, that too in a sleeper class bogie?"
I smiled.
Pause. I kept on reading.
Uncle ji resumed again."Hyderabad i know.Golconda is there in hyderabad na. I have been to golconda!"
I said,"Nice".
"Biriyani in hyderabad, its delicious.Have you ever tasted, it is so tasty".
"My friend lives in Hyderabad".
"By the way I will go for a training in 2012, to hyderabad".
"I am a railway officer. There are hundreds of employees working under me.The position I am in now, it takes atleast 25 years for people to reach to this position"
To all this, I smiled.
Uncle ji continued, " You go to any station in Orissa and just say that you know me, and then you u just see how they wil treat you."
I was wondering where is this going... who is he, why should go about telling people that I know him, whom I actually do not know..
He said,"If ever in life you want a train ticket booked from any corner of India, in any train, just give me a call, I wil get it for you, even before 1 hour from departure".
By now, I was tired of smiling.
He dint forget to give his number..and take mine. I gave him a fake number. He said" When i come to hyderabad next time, I will call you. Hope you will recognize me".
I was speechless. And irritated.
Not to appear rude and proudy...I asked a few one-line questions, which he answered as elaborately as he could.
In those 2 hours period, he shared his retirement plans, his struggling days when he was looking for a job, his neighbours,his what not!!!
All of this was okay..but this was really awesome-" Do you think I will live for more than 50 years?"
He was expecting an answer from me.How on earth would I know!!
I did not realise when did i fall asleep...and he kept on talking...


I meet so many people everytime I travel. But I hardly remember any one once i get down from the train.Now I feel that it was the genuineness in him that did not let me forget him.
Wish you were reading Uncleji..

I am so lost... not able to find words..
a gush of feelings, trying hard to take a form
I want them to come out soon...
before they tear me apart like a kite gets torn in a storm..

Oh..is it what it means,
when they say that "no words, how to express.."
my emotions,cruel and painful, killing my inside.
I am sorry, I can no more suppress...

I have so much in my mind,
still i m speechless..sounds funny!
i wish you could understand me..
and cure me with a pill, if there is any...

A different Diwali..

I would not say good or bad, I would just say that it was different.
It was 10am of the day.It was Diwali.I was thinking of all my last diwalis when I used to grumble that its the same every year, nothing different...
For the first time in my life, I was not at home on Diwali.Obviously, I was sad.
I hardly got messages and calls from old friends wishing me happy diwali. Everybody is getting busier. I also did not bother much to send smses and make calls.
After mourning and sulking for quite sometime,I decided to make this diwali different.
I wished all the unknown persons..whom i will never meet again perhaps..ever in life.
The sales girl in the departmental store from where i bought diyas, the housekeeping lady in the restaurant where i went for dinner, my watchman, the security guard, firecrackers seller...
I thought,atleast I had a day off from work, for them it was no different than everyday...
Thanks to the old friends of mine who stay close by, being with them is like being at home.
I accompanied a friend to a favorite place of his. Desire Society- Home for HIV and AIDS infected/affected kids.
A group of youngsters was there to celebrate diwali with those kids. The place was so full of life. Each face there was lit up like diwali diyas...
Spent sometime with those children,fired crackers with them.
They were dancing and hopping all around. Something inside me was troubling me hard..may be guilt or shame or...the realization of my ingratitude towards the Almighty...
Through out the day, I met so many souls who have so less in life, and for them, someone wishing "happy diwali" means so much...