Those 4 minutes..

Everyday while going to office, I cross a foot over bridge. There are a few beggars whom I see daily, sitting on the stairs.

When I step on to the staircase, the old man stretches out his hand in front of me. I hand over a coin to him and proceed. The next old woman looks at me with expectations, hands stretched out. I hesitatingly drop another coin. Then on the other set of staircase, the other old man looks at me..this time I pretend not seeing him and walk away faster..

It happens everyday.

It takes me around 4 minutes to walk from that bridge to reach office. That 4 minute interval is the most restless period my day. I try to tell you why..

When I look at the old shriveled bodies of those beggars, something hits me hard inside. In a moment, a heavy gush of thoughts floods my mind. This poor old man must have children, do they know that their father is begging like this on roads..do they care at all.. this man must have had hay days in his life, does he relish his past.. I feel pity for them..and some kind of guilt over takes me..

The other day, I saw the old beggar smoking..and a bundle of cigarettes in his pocket. I was shocked a little. Does this man sit here begging whole day for buying cigarettes! And at this age, so close to the end, he still indulges in pleasure? ( though this thought is biased I know)..

When I see them everyday, some where in my heart, I feel hopeless. Will it ever be possible to uproot poverty from our country....?Can anything concrete ever be done? 

Do I do anything good by giving a few coins daily? I don't mind spending hundreds on a meal, but I do mind giving a 10-rupee note to a woman, who might not have had a full meal for days?

I am sorry I am unable to express what exactly goes on in my mind in those 4 minutes.

The moment I enter office, everything vanishes. And I am the same self again.

The world is such a bad place...

The world is such a bad place...
Selfish souls, fake smiles on face..
Fraud and lies, every corner,every place
The world is such a bad place..

I deserve the bread but they give me the crust..
I feel foolish that why did I trust..
They mock me and my faith, right on my face
The world is such a bad place...

God,do you create heartless humans too?
with a mind to think...no heart to feel..
O Lord,don't make such people, please,keep your grace
Its they who make your world a bad place...

For my Dad...

Papa

You are the best!
You just give and give,and forget the rest...

When I was ill that time,you sat beside my bed whole night..
Did all you could,prayed until i got alright..

When I went to hostel, I missed you for a while and then forgot..
You missed me everyday,I was there in your each thought..


Whenever I wanted ,I screamed on you even when I was wrong
But you were always there to teach me..make me strong..


For me you give up all your desires and comfort,that too with a smile..
And when I am grown up now,I forget to call you for a while..


There is so much that I owe you,I can never give you back
words cannot tell what I feel,How much I love you Dad!

I wish I had earlids!!

Why did God not create earlids like he did eyelids...

There are times when I just do not want to hear anything...absolutely nothing...but not always does that happen... There are times when I want silence, complete silence, but I long to get it...

I was travelling in a public bus the other day...There was already a lot of noise of the traffic and the people and the passengers...and to top it all, there was a guy who had played music on his cellphone at the highest volume possible... I had no control over the situation. I was waiting for my stop very very eagerly. I just shut my eyes and tried to imagine something pleasant. No sooner than I shut my eyes, I could wipe out what was there in front of me and could draw anything of my choice..on the canvass of my mind... that is when it occurred to me that I wish I had earlids also...so that I could shut down all the cacophony around...and could hear the music of silence...

Dear readers, please do not advise me to buy earplugs...or carry an ipod while travelling...
Feelings and imagination are not bound by logic and rules... :)

An experience beyond description...

“What a beautiful sunrise it is, isn’t it? As if the whole sky has become the canvass of an unseen artist and he is splashing all the colours of nature on it, one after another.”
“ yeah, it looks majestic! The clouds like snowflakes, soft and delicate, melting away at the slight touch of the soft sunrays...”
“ Just look at the sky for a few moments, you will see that its changing every second..yet it appears so still…just like the river…which is ever flowing, but yet looks motionless..”
” Exactly! It is amazing. Listen to the morning silence. It is so melodious. While watching the sun tear away the darkness and flooding the earth with light, is a treat to the eyes, hearing the music of nature is a treat to the ears... there cannot be anything more mellifluous than songs of nature.. ”
” And the whole experience is a treat to the soul, isn’t it?”
”You are so correct”.
” I love to watch sunrise. For me, the rising sun is a messenger of God, which wakes up the world with a greeting that, “Hey you people, the darlings of the Almighty, here it is day again! Get up and go out, the world is yours! Forget what happened yesterday, good or bad, it is a new day, a new beginning. Nothing stays forever. It was darkness till now, but see, its light all over! Fill up your pockets with light…and lighten up the your lives! Lighten up your hearts, lighten up a sad face.”
” That’s really beautiful. “

Its your choice....

Today, I picked up two magazines to read, "The Week", and "Complete Well Being".
The cover pages of both attracted me."The Week" was a special issue about "30 Pearls of India". The other magazine had articles about "How to defy your age" and "Lose those last 5 kilos"..
In Complete Well Being,there were n number of tips and tricks to look younger than your real age.Drink these many glasses of water..these all colors should be there in your diet...Make sure you cleanse your face thrice a day...have atleast 2 varieties of nuts daily...Do such and such exercises to keep wrinkles away..write what you eat daily to monitor your calories intake....This yogasana can reduce your belly fat..that stretch can keep your waist in shape..this moisturizer can prevent drying of skin..blah blah blah...
I was mentally preparing notes and planning to implement atleast some of those..until I started feeling "it is too much for me to do..."

I picked up the other magazine. It had 30 articles about Indians who have given up their high-paying jobs and cozy lives to serve the society.
There was a piece about a young girl in her twenties who has started an NGO to work for the rescue and rehabilitation of young girls trapped in sex trade. The article had a detailed description of what she does and how successful she has been in changing the lives of hundreds...providing them food and shelter,educating them, helping them come out of the trauma. There was a sentence that read.."...in all this she does for her organisation, she hardly finds time for herself..."

Something touched me.

There is a girl who is dedicated to work towards eradicating the darkness from others' lives and there is a girl who is worried about her dark circles. There is a girl who does all she can, to bring a smile on a grief-stricken face and there is a girl who is worried about her prominent laugh lines and wrinkles.There is a girl who forgets to eat while feeding the needy and there is a girl who is worried about losing those extra five kilos!

I hope I could express what I wanted to.

Searching Silence

I don't know why did I name my blog "Searching Silence"...
But I realize now that it had to make sense someday..and it does today...
I am searching silence today..silence outside...and inside..
Traffic...noise in the name of music...people fighting...shouting...horns...loudspeakers...mobiles with irritating ring tones...
Silence for a moment is has become so so rare to find!! unless I run away to isolation..which is not always possible...or unless I wait for the world around me to sleep..which is really difficult to do, because by the end of the day, I become so irritated and feel so drained out that I myself fall asleep before the world around me does...
I never craved for silence so much...may be I had not tasted it yet..or may be I was not yet exposed to so much noise yet...
The noise outside shakes the inside of me..and creates whole lot of volcanic sounds and what not..I am sorry I am unable to express myself, I have become really bad at writing..thanks to the noise...
Silence is bliss...Hey you all there...once in a while, gift yourself moments of silence... and you will know how melodious silence can be...how musical silence can be...how re-energizing silence can be... more than anything else...just you and your self..